Subtle Mind

The subtle mind exercise was much more enjoyable than the loving-kindness exercise.  With the subtle mind exercise I was able to calm my mind by focusing on my breathing.  At first I noticed that my thoughts were trying to pull me away.  These thoughts were related to my responsibilities and worries.  My mind kept jumping from one topic to another about the things going on in my life.  When I recognized that this was happening I brought myself back to my breath.  Then the next stage for me was seeing colorful waves moving around, kind of like watching a screen saver.  When I was watching the waves I no longer thought about my responsibilities or breathing.   Then, I started seeing my thoughts and I would start off with one idea and then it would morph in to something else.  These thoughts were very creative and when I didn’t like where the stream was going, I simply moved to another.  A couple of times I let myself get carried away with a thought and it almost felt like dreaming.  When the lady’s voice came though to direct us to the next phase I felt my focus come back to the exercise and then I had to work my way back through the levels.  My cat and my cell phone also added an extra distraction that I had to work through.  I did feel like I was able to get little glimpses of the unity consciousness level but I was usually pulled out by a thought or noise in the room.  I felt very calm during the exercise and I felt like I was teetering between mentally working the exercise and falling asleep.  I felt very focused and calm when the exercise was over. 

The reason why I enjoyed the subtle mind exercise more than the loving kindness exercise was because I felt like I was actually able to do the exercise.  With the loving kindness exercise I felt that I was going through the movements but I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right. 

The interconnectedness of our body, mind, and spirit is something that we cannot ignore.  When we are able to excel in one area, we can excel in the other two.  In my experience, when I am going through a work out with my trainer and she is pushing me past my limits, I feel physically that I need to give up but if I can tell myself mentally that I am capable of completing the exercise or lifting more weights I am able to do so.  We have all heard the idea that everything is mind over matter and this couldn’t be more of a true statement.  The relationship of the mental and physical body is an easy relationship to describe but, the connection between the mind, body, and the spirit isn’t as easy to identify.  In my personal experience, the time that I felt a spiritual connection to something is when I read the book Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss.  After reading this book I felt a certain clarity and release of pressure.  When the fear of death and dying is taken away, it does make it easier to live your life and challenge yourself.  I would say that I do have a fear of dying before I am ready but I think that I am not alone in that.  I feel that when we can realize that we are in control of our lives and at any second we could change the path of our life if we wanted to, it opens up so many possibilities.  We just need a healthy body, a determined mind, and a open spirit to achieve our dreams. 

Lindsey