Integral Assessment

Universal Loving-Kindness

I must admit that I did not believe that I would get much from this exercise because of the experience that I had with the first Loving-Kindness meditation.  But, after I was able to shut off all of the mind chatter and focus on the thoughts of wanting everyone to find health and happiness and to be free of suffering and then thinking that I could help people with this I did experience something unexpected.  At first I felt an emptiness inside of me because I have been stressed out about some things and I thought that if I don’t have anything extra to give, how can I help others?  Then I actually started to feel a warmth and fullness inside of my chest.  I did not expect this to happen.  Then I had the thought that if your intentions are to truly help others to find health and happiness then you will receive the loving energy to do so.  I thought that it was pretty cool!  Whenever I do these exercises, it helps put everything in to perspective.

Integral Assessment

I feel that I have been trying to assess my life and what I can improve upon for a long time.  My main focus for many years has been on my physical health.  I have struggled with my weight since I was a young kid and it has been difficult to replace my emotional eating with another coping mechanism.  I felt that recently I was able to deal with some issues from my past that I didn’t realize was affecting me.  I did realize that I will constantly struggle with an issue if all I address are the superficial things.  I now feel that I am on a better path with my physical health.  I am going to start a new yoga class today actually and I am very excited about it!  I have cleaned up my eating and I have set some new goals for myself.  While going through this class I have realized that I could be giving back to my community.  I already excel at work and I love what I do.  I would like to volunteer at some shelters and look for other opportunities to give back.  The thing that I feel is holding me back from doing this is the amount of time that I need to dedicate to school right now.  I do not want to make a commitment to volunteer and then realize that I have a paper due or a seminar to attend.   Although I have learned a lot from my nursing classes, these two elective classes dealing with stress and spiritual development have by far been the most beneficial!  Seeing that my physical health is coming along and I have a future goal for my community relationships, I believe that I need to attend to my psychospiritual development.  I need to work on incorporating meditation in to my life because whenever I do it for class I really enjoy the outcome.  I also think that yoga will help improve my mind/body connection and keep me calm and centered.  I have a lot of exercises that use drive and aggression, I think that yoga will help incorporate exercises that use concentration and mental/physical strength.  I am really thankful for this class because it has given me the answers to some of my questions and shown me the path to better health and wellness.

Subtle Mind

The subtle mind exercise was much more enjoyable than the loving-kindness exercise.  With the subtle mind exercise I was able to calm my mind by focusing on my breathing.  At first I noticed that my thoughts were trying to pull me away.  These thoughts were related to my responsibilities and worries.  My mind kept jumping from one topic to another about the things going on in my life.  When I recognized that this was happening I brought myself back to my breath.  Then the next stage for me was seeing colorful waves moving around, kind of like watching a screen saver.  When I was watching the waves I no longer thought about my responsibilities or breathing.   Then, I started seeing my thoughts and I would start off with one idea and then it would morph in to something else.  These thoughts were very creative and when I didn’t like where the stream was going, I simply moved to another.  A couple of times I let myself get carried away with a thought and it almost felt like dreaming.  When the lady’s voice came though to direct us to the next phase I felt my focus come back to the exercise and then I had to work my way back through the levels.  My cat and my cell phone also added an extra distraction that I had to work through.  I did feel like I was able to get little glimpses of the unity consciousness level but I was usually pulled out by a thought or noise in the room.  I felt very calm during the exercise and I felt like I was teetering between mentally working the exercise and falling asleep.  I felt very focused and calm when the exercise was over. 

The reason why I enjoyed the subtle mind exercise more than the loving kindness exercise was because I felt like I was actually able to do the exercise.  With the loving kindness exercise I felt that I was going through the movements but I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right. 

The interconnectedness of our body, mind, and spirit is something that we cannot ignore.  When we are able to excel in one area, we can excel in the other two.  In my experience, when I am going through a work out with my trainer and she is pushing me past my limits, I feel physically that I need to give up but if I can tell myself mentally that I am capable of completing the exercise or lifting more weights I am able to do so.  We have all heard the idea that everything is mind over matter and this couldn’t be more of a true statement.  The relationship of the mental and physical body is an easy relationship to describe but, the connection between the mind, body, and the spirit isn’t as easy to identify.  In my personal experience, the time that I felt a spiritual connection to something is when I read the book Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss.  After reading this book I felt a certain clarity and release of pressure.  When the fear of death and dying is taken away, it does make it easier to live your life and challenge yourself.  I would say that I do have a fear of dying before I am ready but I think that I am not alone in that.  I feel that when we can realize that we are in control of our lives and at any second we could change the path of our life if we wanted to, it opens up so many possibilities.  We just need a healthy body, a determined mind, and a open spirit to achieve our dreams. 

Lindsey

Loving Kindness

I have some mixed feelings about the Loving Kindness exercise.  I had a hard time being able to observe my thoughts and feelings and I found that I easily went off on to a mental tangent.  I enjoyed building the feeling of loving kindness inside myself.  It was also easy for me to breathe in a loved one’s pain and suffering and exhale love and security for them.  I felt like it was almost like a prayer for them.  Both my dad and brother are going through some tough times and I really liked sending them some positive vibes!  When I was trying to complete the exercise for others around me and then all of the people in the world I felt a bit of a disconnect.  I am familiar with my family and what they are feeling.  I found it hard to feel the pain and suffering of others because I don’t know specifically what their pain is coming from so it makes it harder for me to connect.  I think that it is an interesting exercise and I feel that it was a bit harder than the relaxation exercises.  I would recommend the exercise to others that would be interested. 

The concept of a mental workout is to consistently train your brain to focus on certain things, using different visualization techniques and controlling your thought process.   The research on contemplative practice shows that with consistent training you can have a positive impact on different mental functions like attention, perception and memory (Dacher, 2006).  The way that you can implement mental workouts in to your life is the same way you implement physical workouts.  If you make it a choice to improve your mental or physical wellbeing you need to make it a priority and schedule a time every day to include it in your routine.

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications.

Reflections

After reflecting on my own level of wellness I realized that I have many areas that I can improve upon.  For my physical health I would give myself a 7 of 10.  The reason for this is because I have been working for a long time on becoming healthier by exercising and eating better.  Since I started the Whole 30 I have noticed that my body just feels better.  My physical goal is to continue exercising and eating better foods that positively affect my health. Some activities that I would like to incorporate include crossfit classes and yoga so that I can improve on my flexibility.

The spiritual aspect of my wellness could use a lot of development.  I would rate it a 5 out of 10.  My goal would be to find a sense of belonging and to explore my beliefs further.  I feel that I do not have as much of a grasp on my spiritual health as I do my physical or psychological health.  I think that I would benefit from including prayer to see if it can help me find my own path. 

I feel very confident about my psychological health.  I would rate it a 9 out of 10.  I feel that I am very comfortable explaining how I feel about things and why I do certain things.  I spend a lot of time psychoanalyzing myself!  One of my goals though would be to try to think more optimistically because I have a tendency to be negative about things.  I think that the reason why I am negative about things is because I always want to feel prepared for what could happen, so if I imagine the worst then I can prepare for it.  Some activities that I would like to incorporate are meditation and maybe some positive affirmations. 

I am not sure if I completed the correct exercise for this week.  The link brought me to the rainbow relaxation exercise instead of The Crime of the Century one listed.  I have completed the rainbow relaxation exercise in a previous class and I enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time.  I like how it has you focus on one area of the body and visualize a certain color of light coming from that area.  The affirmations of feeling grounded, centered, loving, confident and peaceful were very relaxing.